To the honoree, in recognition of his outstanding efforts on behalf of himself and others, in the pursuit of his noble endeavors, flying in the face of whatever obstacles may have presented themselves along the way there, through no particular fault of his own, and in consideration of whatever joys and sorrows he may have subsequently endured, briefly or at great length; for his unique contribution to the particular environment in which he may find himself from time to time, without prior warning, and taking little or no consideration for his own long-term interests in the larger sphere of human affairs: for raising the bar pertaining to excellence, achievement, and quality of life and purity of essence, and for the unmistakable and inimitable qualities of selfhood brought to bear on the problem at hand and of course taking into account the general good, we are proud to present the Bunsen Prize for the year 2000 to a man who by merest coincidence happens to be not only a member of our ensemble tonight but also a native born and bred here in Philadelphia Pennsylvania - please come forward and receive this award, Mr. Ted Baker. You will hopefully collect the remainder of your prize from one or more members of the girl's choir later tonight on the band bus, if you play your cards right. Good luck and good show. 